Rest In Peace Uga VII.

Sad news this morning. Uga VII, the mascot of the University of Georgia, died yesterday. He was only 4 years old. I am not a big Georgia fan, but one of my favorite writers, Lewis Grizzard was. One of my favorite stories of his involved Uga and two of his characters, Bubba and Earl. This is transcribed from Lewis Grizzard's Greatest Hits.

“Got to tell the dog story. There’s somebody left who hasn’t heard the dog story.

We are playing Auburn. Sanford Stadium. National Television. Winner wins the Southeastern Conference; goes to the Sugar Bowl.

85,000 people jammed into Sanford Stadium. National television audience. This game is on the Armed Service Network. People in Switzerland are seeing this ballgame. Going everywhere.

The band cranks up “Glory, Glory to Ole Georgia” and our team comes running out. 85,000 stand as one.

We are led by our gallant mascot, Uga-U-G-A. What a dog! What a gorgeous dog. What a symbol of ferocity. But UGA ain’t real smart. Uga did not realize he was at a football game. Nor did he realize he was on national television, and was going into living rooms the width and breadth of this great nation.

And there, in front of all them people, he began to lick himself where dogs occasionally want to lick themselves, OK?

We don’t have to get any more graphic than that.

Bubba an’ Earl sittin’ on the fifty.

Bubba sees the dog, punches Earl and said, ‘Earl, look at that dog. Dad-gum, I wish I could do that.’

Earl said, ‘ Bubba, that dog’ll bite you!’”

Thursday Thunks.

1. If you won a brand new house in a Dream House Giveaway would you move into it, sell it to pay the taxes and make a profit, rent it out or give it to a family member/friend who might need it?

Considering I live in a three room apartment, I would live in it myself.

2. Are you good at billiards?

That depends on your definition of billiards. If carom billiards, with no pockets, I have never played. With pockets, I used to be fairly good. I haven't played in many years.

3. Does anyone on the planet really want to see Levi Johnston naked in Playgirl (other than when Bristol Palin did)?

If I did I would have to bleach my brain to get that image out.

4. Is your phone ringing right now?

It is 3:52 A.M. I would be worried if it was.

5. Do you think man has eaten or tried to eat every type of animal on the face of the earth at one point or another? If not, what don't you think man has tried?

I don't think there is anything that someone hasn't tried. If something new is found, Anthony Bourdain would be first in line to try it.

6. The new movie Avatar has been showing sneak peeks and been hyped to the max. Will you see it?

I think James Cameron is an over-rated director and I have no intention of seeing it.

7. If a slightly bigger fish eats a small fish, then a bigger fish immediately eats that one, then an even bigger fish immediately eats that fish and then finally a huge fish eats the one that just ate that fish and it gets caught by you... how many meals will you have from that one fish?

None. I don't fish because I will not clean them.

8. If you had an appointment with the doctor and all the plants in the office were dead, would you still see the doctor?

He would be my kind of doctor. I kill plants too. My wife olved plants. One of the first things I did after she died was to give her plants away.

9. Have you ever seen the number 666 in a dream?

No.

10. "At 20 years of age the will reigns, at 30 the wit, at 40 the judgment."~ Benjamin Franklin
So what happens at 50, 60, 70, 80, 90, 100?

At 50 your inner child, at 60 denial, at 70 acceptance, at 80 enjoyment, at 90 relief, at 100 the bowels. If the bowels aren't working you aren't living.

11. Would you want your phone number to be (area code) 123-4567?

No way. You would get too many calls from people playing with their phones.

Banking Again.

A few years ago I made a miscalculation with my debit card. That miscalculation (it was under $5) ended up costing me a lot of money so I quit banking and started paying everything with cash or money orders. I figured that if I ever tried to get another account I would be met at the door by a man with long white hair, a long beard, wearing a robe and holding a staff. He would then hit the floor with the staff and tell me "YOU SHALL NOT PASS!!!!"


Then immediately a few goblins would appear, haul me off deep into the vaults, and I would never be seen again. (Which some people would think would be a good thing.)



Wal-Mart forced my hand and I had to go open an account. As with some other companies, Wal-Mart is going to a paperless pay system. If you do not have direct deposit you will be given a payroll card. That card can be used as a debit card and you are given checks that you can cash at Wal-Mart Money Centers. I decided to go with a checking account. I went to where My Lady banks and talked to them. They had a deal for new accounts where she would get $25 for recommending me and I would also get $25. When I applied I found out my name was already in the system. Instead of being hauled off to the vaults it was for a special deal on a checking account. I did not get the $25. I was forced to take $50. Talk about your offer you can't refuse. There are also a couple of other perks that the bank offers to Wal-Mart employees. I know a lot of people think that Wal-Mart is the Evil Empire, but personally I don't have any beef with them. They are not perfect, but what employer is? Some are also not happy with no paychecks, but there is a major convenience with direct deposit. I may still get one more check, but then no more having to go in and pick up it up. I am looking forward to that.

Ready For The Weekend.

I can see you there, scratching your head and wondering, has he completely lost his mind? Of course I haven't. You can't lose what you never had. Tuesday and Wednesday are my weekends. Saturday and Sunday naturally are very busy days when you work retail. When I started at Wal-Mart my days off were Wednesday and Thursday. I was asked if I would change it. I told them I didn't care as long as the days off are consecutive. If they are not you do not feel like you are getting any rest.

So what exciting things am I doing on my weekend? Not much of anything. The Christmas push is on and by the time my five days are over I am wore out. Once Christmas is over things will slow down a lot. I am just going to read, write a little, which you will probably see Friday, catch up on my surveys (a topic for another day), and play my current computer game addiction, Jewel Quest II. I find games like that relaxing, but I have to be careful. My clock for some reason doesn't work right when I play. It claims I spend more time playing than I think I do. Well, I am going to bed now. Good night.

Sunday Meme.

It is always nice when someone new comes by and pays a visit. It is even nicer when they have kind words about my blog. Friday Dsmcaron mentioned me and my Thursday Thunks post. That inspired her to write her own meme. She gave an open invitation to anyone who wanted to answer her questions. After reading this she may regret those words.

Q. Your mom wants a small, inexpensive hand mixer for Christmas. In red. What do you do?

Being the good Wal-Mart employee that I am I go to Wal-Mart.com, where I found out the cheapest one is $29.86. Being the cheapskate that I am, I'll just con my brothers into buying it and claim the idea.

Q. Your favorite television show has a British version and an American version. Which do you watch?

The version that I saw first. If I see the other version I will spend too much time noticing the differences.

Q. Someone tells a joke or a story and although it is amusing, it isn't as funny as they think it is. What do you call that?

I call it a time joke. When I get the time I'll laugh.

Q. Sandra Lee from the Food Network says, "Bam!" Are you amused or irritated?

Confused. Is she having an affair with Emeril? Pardon me, I have to go check out the National Enquirer.
Q. Speaking of British humor, what makes you laugh the most other than (obviously) Monty Python?

Red Dwarf. It has a science fiction setting and is one of the funniest shows I have ever seen. The picture here is the Red Dwarf crew.

Fun With Batman.

A friend of mine was a big Batman collector. He decided to sell his collection and offered it to me. I paid more for it than I planned, which was less than he really wanted. However he probably got more for it from me then he would have if he had sold it anywhere else. The problem with collectibles is no matter what a book says they are worth, the true value is whatever someone is willing to pay you for them.

I am a member of the Captain Comics Board and I decided to start a thread there that I call A Batman A Day. My friend Travis had started one called A Comic A Day so I borrowed his idea, only specializing it. I have three boxes of comics so this project will take quite awhile to get done.

The second book I pulled out was a reprint of the very first issue of Batman. When I read it A few things struck me as being funny. I scanned the pages and I will post the pictures and make comments about them. The picture on the side there is my favorite Batman picture from my favorite story. The artist is Neal Adams. The story, written by Denny O'Neal, was called The Joker's Five Way Revenge and it appeared in Batman 251.




This is the cover of the reprint that I own.




The first thing is a suggestion to aspiring comic book artists. Read carefully what the writer is talking about. As you can see here He calls for a mace.



The artist instead drew a two-headed axe.




I will let Hawkman show you what a mace looks like. If you don't know what one looks like, research it. Otherwise 70 years later you may find some smart@$$ making fun of you on a blog.



I love this pose. I assume that immediately after this Batman went to his chiropractor. That hurts me just looking at it.


This is here for its historic significance. This is the very first drawing of the Joker.

I have always liked reading comic books. Some of them can be exciting and others a little silly. I sometimes find things amusing that others don't. As I go through this Batman project I will scan some of the art and comment on it. I tell people that my hobbies are collecting comic books and baseball cards. I haven't grown up yet and I am too old to do so now.

The Most Wonderful Time Of The Year?

We are at the start of the time that all retail workers look forward to. It just gets your blood flowing so well. You just can't wait until it is your time to go to work and have all of this fun. Just imagine, we not only get to have all of this fun, but they even pay us for it, too. Wait, I am sensing skepticism out there. Could it be that those reading this do not believe the sincerity of my words? Are they wondering whether or not if I have brown eyes? (For the record, I do.) Oh well, I always knew that I had an intelligent audience with great BS detectors.

So what exactly is the difference from working this time of the year as any other time. Obviously, we deal with much more merchandise than normal. The freight has been flowing in for about the last three weeks and it will continue until about a week before Christmas. At times like this I am glad I work on the grocery side of the store and not the general merchandise. On that side displays have to be changed constantly, and at times it is a challenge to figure out what to put out and how to make it look good. The person in grocery who has the hardest time is the one who works what we call the bake aisle, flour, sugar, cake mixes, etc. It is not unusual to sell more sugar in one day than in a normal week. I did that aisle a few years ago at Christmas. You get a real workout.

We don't deal with customers near as much on third shift as on first or second. I consider that a good thing. Don't get me wrong, I like people and I like helping but this time of year brings out the worst in some people. The best example of that was what happened on Black Friday last year at Long Island. The only wonder is it hadn't happened sooner. When I was at Kmart I saw the charge when the doors are opened. We don't have that problem at the Wal-Mart that I work at since we are a 24 hour store. People come inside and wait starting around midnight. The closer to 5:00 A.M. the worse it gets. I didn't have to work it last year but it looks like this year I'll be in the middle of it. I'll talk about what happened then.