Active Toys.

I was going to blog about this game for Christmas, but since I basically took the month of December off, it didn't happen. The object of Doggie Doo is to go around behind this dog and clean up after him. I'm not sure exactly how popular this game is since I don't work in toys very often, but I do assume that it sells fairly well. After all, it's disgusting enough that kids would have fun with it.

Baby Alive is billed as the real surprise baby. You give the doll something to eat and drink and she does what real babies do. Fortunately, one of the accessories that you can purchase is disposable diapers. I think that's taking realism a little too far, but at least I don't have to clean it up. You can buy food packets, drink packets, and diapers to go along with this doll.

I like finding weird stuff like this. This will probably become the Thursday theme. I'm going to limit this to items that you can purchase in, as they call it online, the brick-and-mortar stores. It's more of a challenge that way than just simply going online, because there is so much weird stuff that you can purchase online only.

Strange Products.

I have 23 years experience working in retail, which started in 1974. I have seen many strange products in that length of time, so it takes a lot to surprise me. A few nights ago, I got a surprise. We are always finding stray merchandise throughout the store. One product that had magically found its way back to electronics was a bottle of Lady Anti-Monkey Butt Powder. My initial response was the laugh, especially since the bottle had the image that you see above. Of course I had to spend the rest of the night pointing this product out to my coworkers. After researching the product a little bit, I found out that they make a product for men, women and babies. For babies the product is used for diaper rash. Its use for adults is to prevent chafing on your backside caused by sweat inside your clothes. I never knew that was that big of a problem, but if you suffer from it here is your solution.

When I mentioned the powder to a friend of mine who works in that area, she told me about another product that I had to go check out, Gorilla Snot Hair Gel. I looked it up online and found a few reviews for it. Several who use it said once you put it in your hair you have to wash it twice to get it out. I also found out that guitar players like the product because it helps them to keep a hold of their guitar picks. The product has been around for a while, but for obvious reasons I don't spend a lot of time around haircare section.

I tried the link to my blog on my Facebook page yesterday but they rejected. I'm not sure if it's because of my account being hacked or someone from Blogger has been playing around. Several other people had the same problem. I'm going to try again today and we will see what happens.

MMMMM....Bacon.

Have you ever thought to yourself, you know it would be great to have a lamp with a bacon lampshade. Well today is your lucky day. If you go here you can learn how to make one.




If you have a bacon lampshade, wouldn't it be great if you could go around smelling like bacon? If you go here you can buy some bacon soap.

My Parkage Is Ready.

No, that is not a misspelling. Yesterday I recieved an email from someone named Kim Sampson telling me this:


Dear: (Couldn't even put my name in.)

I have deposited your MasterCard gift card with our local FedEx Delivery Services offices. I've paid the insurance and delivery charges, but a safe keeping fee of US $198.00 is required before the package can be delivered to you. You must pay this fee to authenticate your delivery address. Please send your full name, home address and telephone to FedEx's delivery manager, Oliver Collins at(e-mail address removed.) Telephone number: +234 808 029 8440, referring to shipment code CPEL/OWN/9856. Mr. Collins does not know the contents of the package; for security I've identified the contents as African magazines. The MasterCard has been loaded with US $800.000.00 from the Central Bank of
Africa and its PIN is 8876. Once you receive the card, you can use it at any ATM to withdraw up to US $20.000.00 per day. I do hope you'll take care of this transaction as soon as possible. Unfortunately you will not be able to reach me as I've been called out of the country on business. Regards, Greg Williams, Esq.

So for only $198 I can get $800,000. What a deal. I'm sending a check today. Considering I don't have a checking account I'd say we would be even. I also liked that the message came from Kim Sampson, but was signed by Greg Williams. The saddest thing though, is there are some people who will send in the money.

One other email I got yesterday, (I need to check my spam filter.) was from someone named Audrie. The heading was "How to Green Yoour Sex Life in 4 Easy Steps." The misspelling was there, too. First of all, my sex life is my business, no one else's. But what does it mean to green your sex life? Allow Laurie to explain.

An ill baked cake, flory, and all that a woman, the corner to go home when he saw How to Green Yoour Sex Life in 4 Easy Steps. The lights went out and a new picture began to bonny names! Maybe yer lordship wad alloo me the the truth, you won't have anything to complain rooted, it must be confessed, in the amusement in the meantime, full of love, and quiet solemn of their fathers. A gentleman who was present gazing into his what a foolwhat an incredible we couldn't even reach the ship's stores, which, animated throughout by fondness for the confederacy. Be a bore, but one mustn't mind things. I say, them. They had both evaded any profession of faith i was weel rid o' the sicht o' her, for i canna a tear on his face and a glimmer in his eyes..


Well that certainly clears it up. In the email there was a clickable link with the words Easy Steps. I didn't bother to see where it would have sent me to. These things make me laugh. What can I say? I'm easily amused.

The Reds took two out of the three games against the Cubs, beating them yesterday 7-1. The Cubs will be in St Louis tonight for a three game series.
Volly was right. Any number divided by zero is zero.
Today's question is Grade 4/World History.

Historians who study China divide time into what?

• A) eras
• B) epochs
• C) dynasties

I knew this one. 81-16.

Coffee Anyone.

I realize that times are hard for all coffee shops, but a new shop in Maine is going in a different direction from Starbucks. The name of the place says it all, the Grand View Topless Coffee Shop. That's right you can get your coffee served by a topless waitress. The owners don't discriminate, the waiters are topless too. The windows to the place have been darkened and a sign says no admittance to anyone under 18. I guess we will see if sex really sells. Personally I don't drink coffee, but even if I did I wouldn't go there. If that is what it takes to sell their coffee it probably is pretty bad. When it comes to food and beverages I want quality at a reasonable price. That is one reason I have never ate at Hooters. There prices are higher than I like to pay, and I have had several friends tell me that the food is not worth what they charge. Since that coffee shop is in Maine, maybe Stephen King could use that coffee shop as a springboard for his next novel.

Al was right. A flute is not a percussion instrument.

Today's question is Grade 4/World History. Ivan the Terrible was a czar of what country?

This was an easy one for me. 37-10.

OOOOO-Kay.

I ran across a couple of things yesterday that brought on the expression that is in the heading. The first is a website that is currently in beta testing. It is called Bedpost. It is for keeping track of how active your love life is. You put in when you started, how long it lasted, who with, rate it, and enter a short description. If you have seen the Austin Powers movies, this is where Dr Evil would utter his line "Right." Why you need to keep track of that is beyond me. To make it even more interesting,(or disgusting, depending on your point of view) you can put this on Twitter. I don't have a twitter account, but even if I did this would not be on it. People really are amazing.

The second thing is a new movie that is going to be made. It is a period piece based on Jane Austin's Pride And Prejudice. I know, they did a version of that in 2005 that is highly rated on IMDB. But that version could be considered a chick flick. So what do you need to do to bring the guys in? Add a Predator, of course. The movie is being called Pride And Predator. The executive producer is Elton John. They start filming later this year. I think I'll pass.
A new reader, Al got it right. (Hi Al and welcome.) The Ganges River is in India.

Today's question is Grade 4/World History.

What is the name for the terrible disease that killed one-third of the population of Europe in the late 1340's?

I knew this one. 31-10.

Looking At The News.

Three stories in the news caught my attention. The first was the woman who had 8 babies. This article says cash wasn't her motivation for having the babies. She has a spokesman, but was not looking to cash in when she decided to use in-vitro and have 8 babies. Who is this spokesman, Rod Blagojevich? My favorite part was the last line in the story where the spokesman did say there have been movie and other media offers, but it is too early to discuss how much money she might receive. The woman now has 14 children and is not married. I think the medical community needs to look at the ethics involved here. First of all, she already had 6 children. Why on earth did they put 8 embryos inside her? How did she pay for it? Most parents, when multiple births are involved, do get freebies. Usually they get diapers, baby food, and other baby accessories. Manufacturers are hesitating here. They are afraid of a backlash if they help. We will see what happens.

The banks still don't get it. They were bailed out, yet continue to reward employees as if they did a good job. Wells Fargo was going to treat their employees with 12 days in Las Vegas, including a private Jimmy Buffet concert. What were they rewarding them for, running the company into the ground? The government gave them $25 billion. They shouldn't even have rated a Happy Meal at McDonalds let alone a Las Vegas vacation. Unfortunately it took criticism to wake them up.

The last item took place in Russia. It is another example of why excessive drinking is a bad idea. It seems this man came across a raccoon and he decided to get intimate with it. The raccoon objected and bit off the offending appendage. I wonder if Lorena Bobbit ever considered that?

Tomorrow is my 200th post which will have 25 things about me and a contest with an actual prize.
Travis took the 50-50 chance and got it right. The answer was true.

Today's question is another true-false one. Grade 1/Math.

True or false? The sum of two whole numbers is always another whole number.

I got this one. I am now 22-7.

Iron Chef America- Battle Sea Kittens.

The excitement builds as the Chairman prepares to reveal the secret ingredient for tonight's exciting battle in Kitchen Stadium. The Chairman says, "Tonight's secret ingredient is.............SEA KITTENS. and everyone says HUH????

I know what you are thinking. My psychic, or psychotic, whichever you prefer, abilities are at the maximum. You are saying what the heck are sea kittens? OK. A few of you are thinking something stronger than heck, but I will let you add your favorite adjective. Sea Kittens are also known as fish. Whose idea is that? Those wonderful people at PETA, People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals. Think I am making this up? Check this out. Of course PETA thinks we should all be vegetarians. If that is what you chose to do, that is great. But don't tell me that I have to. When I eat bacon, I want it from a hog, not a soybean field. I agree with PETA's basic premise, that animals should not be abused. However the methods that they use are ridiculous. I sometimes wonder if they really think out programs before they launch them, or if they believe any publicity is good, no matter what. If that is the case, I have a suggestion for them. Hire Rod Blagojevich as your next president. After all he will probably be needing a job soon.

I had intended on talking about PETA a few months ago, but I kept finding other things to talk about. The topic for that was a letter they sent to Ben & Jerry's, requesting that they replace the cows milk they use with human breast milk. Again, I am not joking. Here it is. If they want to be respected and listened to, they need to drop the attitude that we are right and unless you agree with us you are stupid. Nobody wants to have things like that forced on them.
The answer to yesterdays question was The Lincoln Memorial.

Today's question is Grade 3/Measurements.

What unit of power is abbreviated by the letter "W"?

I am on a roll now and stand 8-5. I may get to graduate at the end of the year.

Taco Wedding Bells.

Some traditionalists like being married in a church. Then you have free spirits who want to do something out of the ordinary. A couple in Normal, Illinois chose to be married at a Taco Bell there. Of course someone at The State Journal-Register chose the headline "Normal Couple Weds At Taco Bell." I think it was fitting that the couple met on-line and the man who performed the ceremony got his certificate on-line. I wish the new couple well.

There is an interesting website called Offbeat Bride that has a lot of tales about other weddings held in unusual locations. Check it out if you have the time.
The answer to the weekend question was red. The rest of the rainbow spectrum is orange, yellow, green, blue, indigo, and violet. Does my knowledge impress you? I confess. I looked it up. Today's question is grade 5 Geography.

True or false? The lines that measure degrees of latitude are called parallels.

Hey, you have a 50-50 shot. Of course, I chose the wrong one and am now 4-5. I am going to get a special made dunce cap.

No Brown M&Ms.

For 10 years Smoking Gun.com has posted contract riders for entertainers. The things people ask for and get makes for fascinating reading. Some of their demands are ridiculous. Out of all the demands made by groups, probably the most infamous was the one made by Van Halen in the '80's, they wanted M&M's, but there were to be no brown ones. I have heard several explanations for it, but I think the one Smoking Gun mentions makes the most sense. They felt that if a promoter paid close enough attention to the M&M's then all sound and lighting would be right. If you want to read the Van Halen rider, click here. To read others click here.

Job Counseling.

Sir,
After going over your resume I recommend you find a new field. Seeing as how you have been incarcerated off and on during the last five years, obviously a life of crime is not for you. Since you have also decided to add all of the tattoos in the last five years it will be very easy for witnesses to identify you. This of course is why you have not been successful as a criminal. I suggest you take up a trade such as welding. The mask would be a big help for you.

Is Something Wrong Officer?

But officer. I swear I haven't been drinking. why did you stop me?

The driver was a 40 year old woman in Nevada. She was stopped by an ambulance crew and failed a field sobriety test. When this was first reported they did not know where the gas nozzle came from.

Who Is The Real Loser?

The t-shirt reads "Only a real loser would stand there and take the time to read the message on someone else's stupid t-shirt." These 5 people obviously like that t-shirt. These pictures are their mugshots. Who are the real losers?

News Time

I love reading news. I follow current events but what I really like is the strange stories out there. In the last two days three stories have caught my attention.

The first comes from the city of Batman, Turkey. The mayor plans on suing the makers of the Batman film for using their towns name without permission. He claims he will come to the United States to file this suit. I did a little research on the town and they adopted the name Batman in 1955. Since DC Comics started publishing Batman stories in 1939 I don't think he will succeed.

The second story concerns a young man from England. He is claiming his name is now the longest in the world. His parents christened him George but he has changed it to Captain Fantastic Faster Than Superman Spiderman Batman Wolverine Hulk And The Flash Combined. He is having fun with it now, but I bet he ends up back to George before too long.

The final story comes from Finland. They have just released the DVD of the television series Little House On The Prairie. It is banned for anyone under 18 years old. To get a rating in Finland they charge so much per minute. When dealing with a series like that it would be very expensive, so the producers took that rating. There may be some very disappointed viewers if they are not familiar with that series.

One thing I have noticed in reading odd news stories. I always thought when it came to weird you could not top us Americans. I was wrong about that one.

Silver And Gold.

Silver was arrested in Las Vegas yesterday for driving under the influence. Details can be found here.




















Gold was arrested in July of 2005 for abusing harmful intoxicants. He was arrested at a Dollar General store where he was attempting to buy a can of spray paint. He had been huffing the paint. He was in need of a refill. Instead he was arrested. Details are here.

If You Think Your Job Is Bad....

be glad you don't have the one they featured on Dirty Jobs this week. This week Mike learned about sheep castration. Once the incision is made they pull the testicle out with their teeth. If you think I am joking, catch a repeat of this episode. Of course, when they were done they had a fine dining experience.

I have helped castrate pigs before. I never cared for it but it had to be done. Next time you think your job "inhales vigorously" be glad you don't work with sheep. And if by any chance someone reading this actually does this kind of thing, I salute you. There is no way I could.

Last thought---Yesterday I saw a link to an interesting article on improving your memory. I forgot to click on it.

How About A Burger?

When I decided to do this I was going to write about a 6 pound burger. Then the gentleman in the first picture topped that. The burger you see in front of him weighs 15 pounds. He ate the entire thing in 4 hours and 39 minutes. Since he ate the whole thing in less than 5 hours he got it for free. The full story can be found here. When I was younger I could eat a lot, but not that much. I find the older I get the less I want.







The burger shown here was the one I was originally going to talk about. It "only" weighs 6 pounds. The burgers are both from the same restaurant. After they introduced this one another place came up with a 12.5 pound burger. Thus came the 15 pounder. I wonder if these burgers come with an after dinner drink........Alka Seltzer. More details can be found here.





Last night at work I was stocking eggs. A friend came by and said "So there is the eggman." I told him "Yes. But I am not the walrus." We are so easily amused at work.

Yes We Have No Bananas.

In Japan anyway. It seems we Americans are not the only ones who go for fad diets. A new diet sweeping Japan involves starting your day eating a banana and drinking room temperature water. It will go the way of every other fad diet eventually, but for now bananas are a lot harder to get and people are now paying more for them. I learned a lot about fad diets and the different diet pills from the one who moved out last year. She did several of them. Short term they worked, but all were too hard to stay on. You can read more about this here.

Cake, Anyone?

Welcome. I was hoping you would stop by today. I prepared a cake. Would you like a piece?

Yes, I know what it looks like. Trust me.

Oh, you did on my Cubs prediction. Well, you can't win them all. Once would be nice, but.

This is the kind of cake to make and give to your new neighbors. Let them know what they are getting into.

Seriously, this is a Cat Litter Cake. The "cat nuggets" are shaped tootsie rolls. Here is the recipe if you are interested.

CAKE INGREDIENTS

1 box spice or German chocolate cake mix
1 box of white cake mix
1 package white sandwich cookies
1 large package vanilla instant pudding mix
A few drops green food coloring
12 small Tootsie Rolls or equivalent

SERVING "DISHES AND UTENSILS"

1 NEW cat-litter box
1 NEW cat-litter box liner
1 NEW pooper scooper

Prepare and bake cake mixes, according to directions, in any size pan. Prepare pudding and chill. Crumble cookies in small batches in blender or food processor. Add a few drops of green food coloring to 1 cup of cookie crumbs. Mix with a fork or shake in a jar. Set aside.

When cakes are at room temperature, crumble them into a large bowl. Toss with half of the remaining cookie crumbs and enough pudding to make the
mixture moist but not soggy. Place liner in litter box and pour in mixture.

Unwrap 3 Tootsie Rolls and heat in a microwave until soft and pliable. Shape
the blunt ends into slightly curved points. Repeat with three more rolls. Bury the rolls decoratively in the cake mixture. Sprinkle remaining white cookie crumbs over the mixture, then scatter green crumbs lightly over top.

Heat 5 more Tootsie Rolls until almost melted. Scrape them on top of the cake and sprinkle with crumbs from the litter box. Heat the remaining Tootsie Roll until pliable and hang it over the edge of the box. Place box on a sheet of newspaper and serve with scooper. Enjoy!

Not A Good Idea.

1. If you are going to drink, watch what you pick out to wear.

2. Driving drunk is never a good idea. I applaud the gentlemen here for not getting behind the wheel. However:

3. Do not use a 10 year old as your designated driver.
You can read the details here.