Friday, April 24, 2009

My Parkage Is Ready.

No, that is not a misspelling. Yesterday I recieved an email from someone named Kim Sampson telling me this:

Dear: (Couldn't even put my name in.)

I have deposited your MasterCard gift card with our local FedEx Delivery Services offices. I've paid the insurance and delivery charges, but a safe keeping fee of US $198.00 is required before the package can be delivered to you. You must pay this fee to authenticate your delivery address. Please send your full name, home address and telephone to FedEx's delivery manager, Oliver Collins at(e-mail address removed.) Telephone number: +234 808 029 8440, referring to shipment code CPEL/OWN/9856. Mr. Collins does not know the contents of the package; for security I've identified the contents as African magazines. The MasterCard has been loaded with US $800.000.00 from the Central Bank of
and its PIN is 8876. Once you receive the card, you can use it at any ATM to withdraw up to US $20.000.00 per day. I do hope you'll take care of this transaction as soon as possible. Unfortunately you will not be able to reach me as I've been called out of the country on business. Regards, Greg Williams, Esq.

So for only $198 I can get $800,000. What a deal. I'm sending a check today. Considering I don't have a checking account I'd say we would be even. I also liked that the message came from Kim Sampson, but was signed by Greg Williams. The saddest thing though, is there are some people who will send in the money.

One other email I got yesterday, (I need to check my spam filter.) was from someone named Audrie. The heading was "How to Green Yoour Sex Life in 4 Easy Steps." The misspelling was there, too. First of all, my sex life is my business, no one else's. But what does it mean to green your sex life? Allow Laurie to explain.

An ill baked cake, flory, and all that a woman, the corner to go home when he saw How to Green Yoour Sex Life in 4 Easy Steps. The lights went out and a new picture began to bonny names! Maybe yer lordship wad alloo me the the truth, you won't have anything to complain rooted, it must be confessed, in the amusement in the meantime, full of love, and quiet solemn of their fathers. A gentleman who was present gazing into his what a foolwhat an incredible we couldn't even reach the ship's stores, which, animated throughout by fondness for the confederacy. Be a bore, but one mustn't mind things. I say, them. They had both evaded any profession of faith i was weel rid o' the sicht o' her, for i canna a tear on his face and a glimmer in his eyes..

Well that certainly clears it up. In the email there was a clickable link with the words Easy Steps. I didn't bother to see where it would have sent me to. These things make me laugh. What can I say? I'm easily amused.

The Reds took two out of the three games against the Cubs, beating them yesterday 7-1. The Cubs will be in St Louis tonight for a three game series.
Volly was right. Any number divided by zero is zero.
Today's question is Grade 4/World History.

Historians who study China divide time into what?

  • A) eras
  • B) epochs
  • C) dynasties
I knew this one. 81-16.

1 comment:

Ben said...

The sex email is just made up of random sentences from various places. The quote "animated throughout by fondness for the confederacy" is from a book about the Civil War by Nathaniel Stephenson.