Friday, July 10, 2009

A Bad Dad?

My oldest daughter called me last night. Since she rarely does that I figured I knew what she wanted. She told me that my son was wanting to move back to Georgia and she wanted me to let him move in with me until could find a job. I told her my apartment is too small. She kept trying but I told her no. Then I told her something that she didn't know. I had talked to my son two weeks ago and he told me then he wanted to move back. I told him before he did he needed a job lined up and a place to live. According to him he already had that worked out. Obviously that wasn't the case.

The main reason I am against his moving back is his motive for doing so. He moved because of his divorce and he claims he has put it behind him. His wife and her new man, (She did not waste any time. She was seeing this guy before the divorce was finalized.) both work with me at Wal-Mart on third shift. I told my son if he moves back he should avoid Wal-Mart at night and come during the daytime so there is no conflict. He immediately told me it's a free country and he could do what he wants to. I told him that sounds like he just wants to cause trouble and he will get himself arrested. He quickly ended the conversation and I have not heard from him since.

My son is currently on probation for fighting. His probation ends in September. He did not tell me about it until I asked him. He was surprised I knew but the local paper prints a full court listing, which is how I knew. If I were to help him move back I am sure the first thing he would do would be to confront his ex-wife or her new guy and he would end up back in jail. Just how far he would go I am not sure. He has a temper. I can not in good conscious help him when I have doubts about his motives. I would never forgive myself if I helped him return only for someone to get hurt or possibly even killed. I really don't think he would go that far, but if he lost his temper accidents can happen. I have tried to convince him that his best bet is to stay there in Illinois and start a new life. After I told my daughter that I think she is also going to try and convince him to stay. If that makes me a bad Dad oh well. I can live with that easier than I could helping someone get hurt.
I wanted to add a little to Jeff's comments from Wednesday when the question was "Which Native American People lived in longhouses. Jeff said:

"The woodland Indians! Longhouses had several families living in them at once. That's always seemed crazy to me. I can't imagine.

And my answer comes because of all the wood you'd need to make them. Can't have been just the plains. In fact, I think they were more of a Northeastern deal, weren't they?"

The longhouses were more of a Northeastern deal. The families living in them were usually related. I agree with you it hard to imagine living in those conditions.

The Plains Indians were more nomadic, following the game available plus water sources in times of drought.

Workers, drones, and queens are all bees.
Today's question is Grade 4/Social Studies.

An American citizen must be how old to serve in the U.S. House Of Representatives?

I thought I knew this one. Sometimes I think too much. 104-19.


Radiodad said...


You made a good decision. There's only so much you can do to help your kids after they're grown; I'm finding that out with my oldest. It's great you're still wanting what is best for him, even if he doesn't want to accept it.

Travis said...

Howard, sounds like you made the right choice with you son. Hopefully, he will see the reasoning behind it in the proper way. I have seen the other side of the coin were parents are too giving to their children. Which I imagine at times is a fine line to walk.

Answer: uh 30?

Jeff said...

It's not easy being a good dad and doing exactly what you should do.

Volly said...

I agree you're holding a good line with your son. Especially in this part of the country, there seems to be an epidemic of people letting guns substitute for brains, so yes, the possibility of bad trouble is a distinct one.

Good luck with all of that.