Monday, November 23, 2009

The Adventure Of The Empty Freezer.


I awoke from my slumbers feeling very refreshed. I had a very stimulating dream concerning this very buxom wench, but alas, that is a tale for another day. I fully expected to break my fast alone, but much to my astonishment there at the table sat my good friend, Sherlock Holmes. The look on his face was one of absolute distress.

"Good lord, Holmes," I cried. "Whatever is the matter? Are you ill?"

Slowly Holmes raised his head and looked at me. "Good morning, Watson," he mumbled. "I am afraid that I am not at my best this morning.'

"Is there anything I can do?"

"No Watson. There is nothing that is within your powers to rectify this situation."

"Well, then at least tell me what it is all about."

"Very well. As you know, normally I am an early riser. After I have my nourishment I am ready to do battle with the criminal element. This morning as I looked upon the plate Mrs. Hudson sat before I immediately detected something amiss."

"Mrs Hudson. Where are my Eggo's?"

"I am terribly sorry Mr Holmes. They did not have any at the market."

"I did not want to embarrass our landlady. I deduced that she had simply forgot to get them when she did the shopping and used that as an excuse. I took it upon myself to go to the market and make the necessary purchases. As you know, without my Eggo's to start the day my mental processes are diminished."

"I knew that Wiggins, the former head of my Baker Street Irregulars, was a clerk there. I discussed the matter with him and he assured me that there were none to be found. He offered to take me to the back so I could see for myself. After personally observing the baleful looking, Eggo-less freezer, I pondered what could have happened to those wonderful toaster treats. Of course I speculated that Professor Moriarty could be behind this dastardly deed. My next step was to have investigated that angle, but before I left the market that plan changed. There, standing before the display doors, was none other than Colonel Sebastian Moran."

"Holmes. I should have guessed you were behind this outrage. I always knew you were devious but stooping this low? I am appalled. To deprive the Professor of his Eggos is simply going too far."

"Ah, Moran, you misjudge me. I am here inquiring into the same thing."

Without another word Moran stalked out of the market. I asked Wiggens if he knew why there were no Eggo's. He went and got the market manager who explained the situation to me. It seems that are two main factories in the States that manufacture them. One in the state known as Tennessee is putting in new equipment. It is taking them longer to install the machinery than planned. It would not have been a problem except for their factory in the state of Georgia was flooded.

"So Holmes, what are your plans now?"

"Well Watson, I believe I am going to start a study of bees. I have been considering what to do in my latter years and I think that may prove interesting. Now that I know Moriarty is also impaired I can afford the time to rest. Wiggins has assured me that he will call immediately upon the arrival of a new shipment. After that, I will figure out how to bring the Professor down."

Holmes then left the room. I smiled, trying to imagine Holmes as a beekeeper. What a preposterous idea.

2 comments:

questions said...

Outstanding!

(and a nice tie-in to Michael Chabon's book!)

-Dagwan

dsmcaron said...

very well done!